The Jersey Shore: Family Vacation cast threw Mike ‘The Situation’ Sorrentino a very unusual bachelor party on Thursday’s episode as he prepared for a stint in prison.
With his marriage to fiancée Lauren Pesce, 34, just weeks away, teetotaler Mike, 37, was expecting it to be a clean and sober event.
His gal pals planned a PG-rated affair, inviting Lauren to show up as a surprise.
Bachelor party: Mike ‘The Situation’ Sorrentino was surprised by strippers and fiancee Lauren Pesce during his bachelor party on Thursday’s episode of Jersey Shore: Family Vacation
His guy friends, however, hired strippers. Six of them.
‘Uh-oh, we got a situation here,’ Mike said later as exotic dancers writhed around him—having no idea that Lauren was also on her way in a car.
His Jersey Shore friends had earlier brought Mike to Stone Creek Resort, a dude ranch in upstate New York, after he was sentenced to eight months in prison for tax evasion.
They’d hoped to cheer him up during a difficult time and some of them were really enjoying the group trip themselves.
Together again: The 37-year-old reality star began crying when he saw Lauren
Prison sentence: The Situation was enjoying his freedom ahead of serving an eight-month sentence in federal prison for tax evasion
Nicole ‘Snooki’ Polizzi, 31, got so drunk on last week’s episode that she had to be carried to dinner by pal Ronnie Magro-Ortiz, 33.
He watched, amused, as she smeared food all over herself.
‘Wow, I didn’t know I was at dinner with my daughter,’ said Ronnie, referring to his one-year-old toddler, Ariana Sky.
Still drunk: Nicole ‘Snooki’ Polizzi was struggling after partying with Ronnie Magro-Ortiz
Food problem: The reality star was having trouble keeping food on her plate
Having passed on the booze, the other cast members dined elsewhere, enjoying each other’s company and weird conversation.
Deena Cortese, who was pregnant, told them that her fetus was the size of a ‘coconut or an eggplant,’ at 2.2lbs.
Her son, Christopher John Buckner, was born January 6, at nearly 7lbs.
Group dinner: The roommates ate together during their getaway on season three of Jersey Shore: Family Vacation
Deena explained that babies develop their eggs while still in the womb.
‘So you were, technically, within your grandmother,’ the 32-year-old reality star shared.
‘There are these theories that there are these worlds within our worlds,’ a serious Vinny Guadagnino, 31, offered.
Going deep: Vinny Guadagnino talked about multiple universes
‘I believe it,’ Deena replied. ‘Who’s to say there’s not another earth with people like us on it?’
‘Maybe they’re not throwing me in jail in that freakin’ world,’ Mike mused.
The day after the dinner, Jenni ‘JWoww’ Farley, 33, began planning a low-key bachelor party for Mike.
Party planner: Jennifer ‘JWoww’ Farley started planning Mike’s bachelor party
She wanted to make it like her kids’ birthday parties, saying: ‘Games, Shirley Temples, good food.’
‘I’m down,’ swore Paul D. DelVecchio, Jr., aka DJ Pauly D.
Privately, he changed his tune.
‘I’m not doing that,’ said Pauly, 39, emphasizing that his old pal ‘The Situation’ demanded more of a raging affair.
No way: Paul ‘Pauly D’ DelVecchio told JWoww that he liked her party plan, but in a confessional said he wasn’t doing it
‘Girls used to beg to see his abs,’ he pointed out.
The girls happily set about preparing for their half of the party, decorating the ranch’s bar with confetti bombs, balloons and bottles of champagne, and putting up a sign that read ‘Welcome to the same vaginer forever.’
They planned a pin-the-tail-on-the-donkey game in which pictures of Mike would be stuck on a cardboard cutout of Lauren.
Cardboard cutout: The bachelor party featured a pin-the-tail-on-the-donkey game in which pictures of Mike would be stuck on a cardboard cutout of Lauren
They decorated Mike’s room for romance, sprinkling rose petals on his bed, and leaving behind chaps and a saddle.
Then they invited Lauren to show up.
The guys simply booked strippers.
‘Mike’s party just got a whole lot better,’ Pauly opined.
Six pack: Six exotic dancers arrived for the bachelor party
As the evening grew closer, Vinny and Pauly were charged with distracting Mike while the party got set up.
The trio played a game of HORSE on the ranch’s basketball court.
‘It’s definitely not that hard to misdirect Mike,’ said Vinny. ‘You could just put a cheeseburger to the right and he’ll just—’ and he made a sniffing motion.
Hoops time: The guys distracted Mike with a game HORSE on the ranch’s basketball court
But when Mike finally stepped into the bar, he was thrilled and touched by what his roommates had done.
After a short, blindfolded game of ‘Pin the Mike on the Lauren,’ everyone played a classic guessing game that saw them slap cards on their heads and try to guess what was written on them—all of the answers being inside jokes.
‘Seeing Mike smiling and laughing, playing games, just makes me happy, ’cause I feel like we did good,’ Deena said.
Good times: The roommates played a classic guessing game during the party
Mike loved it, too.
‘I would’ve felt bad if there were strippers here,’ he claimed, eventually begging off for bed, saying he was tired.
That’s when the scantily clad strippers showed up.
On time: The strippers showed up just in time
‘I’m looking for Pauly D.,’ a woman purred. ‘Tell him the party’s here.’
Vinny was worried.
‘The worst thing that could happen now is Mike is having such a good time and we ruin it by putting a bunch of random vagina in his face,’ he explained.
In very short order, the strippers were dancing around a seated Mike, some of them upside down on his lap, while the cast threw dollar bills at him.
Dramatic entrance: The entertainers made a dramatic entrance and soon were dancing around Mike
‘I have never seen Mike this nervous around strippers,’ Deena volunteered. ‘He definitely looks petrified.’
‘Oh my God, we’re going to ruin his life right now,’ Nicole interjected.
‘Lauren is gonna kill me,’ Mike said, getting up and running away.
Getting nervous: Mike got nervous as the dancers performed against him
The gang managed to corral him, blindfold him, and get him seated again.
Lauren, who’d just shown up, was then placed on his lap.
Mike removed his blindfold. When he saw her, he hugged her and started to cry.
Blindfold on: A blindfold was put on Mike as he was told there was one more entertainer
‘I missed you,’ he told Lauren, as the strippers watched.
‘Tonight’s been a rollercoaster of emotions, but this is the best surprise ever,’ Mike said in a confessional.
‘When Lauren’s around, I feel like the universe is okay,’ he said.
Surprise appearance: Lauren surprised Mike when he took off his blindfold
The gang headed to a campfire to roast s’mores.
‘You guys, listen,’ Mike began. ‘Whoever planned this surprise? Touché.’
The group confessed they had also gotten the happy couple their own cabin, which Deena called ‘romantical.’
Good work: Mike congratulated his friends for pulling off a great bachelor party
‘Alright guys, go’ said Jenni, waving Mike and Lauren off to the room. ‘Toodles! Go do sex!’
Soon the only people left at the campfire were Vinny, Pauly, Ronnie and Angelina Pivarnick, 33.
Earlier, Angelina had volubly critiqued Vinny for no discernible reason.
‘This girl cannot resist talking s*** to me,’ Vinny said.
On him: Vinny complained about Angelina Pivarnick constantly talking trash about him
Now he closed his eyes as she loudly started complaining about him to Pauly.
Vinny was probably unhappy, she declared, and he needed to be more humble—or he would one day be ‘smacked down’ by life.
‘Ooh, you nailed it,’ said Pauly, who loved egging her on.
‘I am literally sitting at this campfire, not saying a word,’ Vinny noted to the cameras. ‘Yet she is just going on and on.’
Vinny and Pauly ditched the campfire, yet Angelina kept talking.
‘I’ve known Vinny for so long, and he acts like he never knew me,’ she told Ron. ‘And now he walks around with Pauly like he’s the s***, and it’s like ”No bro, it ain’t happening with me”.’
Ronnie sat in silence as he was thinking about the fact that Jenni wouldn’t open up to the group about her ongoing divorce.
Ongoing silence: Ronnie meanwhile was bothered that Jenni was not talking about her divorce
Throughout their stay at the ranch, he had tried to get Jenni to confide in him about how she was doing, but to no avail.
‘Acting like you feel nothing? That doesn’t work for nobody, ever,’ he relayed to Angelina, calling her ‘fake’ for avoiding her emotions.
Ronnie was especially upset that no one asked Jenni about it, but when he was going through problems with his girlfriend, Jen Harley, everyone interrogated him.
In May, Jen, 33 was arrested for an alleged domestic battery incident, but the charges were dropped Tuesday when Ronnie wouldn’t co-operate.
Total surprise: Jenni knew that Mike was unaware of the surprise bachelor party due to his attire
‘We’re not kids anymore, so… I guess we do tread lightly sometimes,’ Ronnie said on the show. ‘But I feel like people don’t tread lightly when it comes to me.’
Multiple scenes of the cast ribbing Ronnie over his relationship were shown.
‘All the f***ing bad memories that I had to go through is a joke to everybody else,’ he reiterated, morosely.
Jersey Shore originally aired on MTV from December 2009 to December 2012.
Season three of Jersey Shore: Family Vacation premiered earlier this month and episode six will air Thursday on MTV.
Bad memories: Ronnie complained that his bad memories were a joke to everybody else