God bless Miley Cyrus for making all of our non-everlasting-Hemsworth-matrimony-based fully dreams come upright this day, because the singer-songwriter lastly allowed us to mix the worlds of Hotel Transylvania protection and genital-fashioned baking accurate into a single, compact news account—factual because the prophecies repeatedly stated we could also. Cyrus carried out this unparalleled feat of dick-related pop cultural contamination by revealing that she turned into once once fired from Adam Sandler’s “What if Dracula turned into once an ineffective hotelier?” franchise of fascinating motion pictures, particularly due to she equipped then-husband Liam Hemsworth a penis-fashioned cake and licked it. Seek?
As an different, Selena Gomez—the rare current pop star in a position to resisting the allure of transgressive pastry licking—turned into once given the portion, which she’s accomplished in all three installments of the HT Trilogy. Cyrus went on to, smartly, be Miley Cyrus, something she turned into once aggressively unapologetic about in a series of tweets this day—including The Penis Cake One—that refuted allegations that she had cheated on Hemsworth for the duration of their relationship. (The argument, presumably, being that if she turned into once willing to bellow her followers in regards to the aforementioned cock cake, and its originate on her express performing profession, she’s got aesthetic mighty nothing left to screen.)
Meanwhile, our proper condolences to the Cyrus-Hemsworth family as they undergo a bright time, as well to to the Sony Photos Animation advertising supervisor who’s desperately attempting, at this very 2nd, to dapper these thick, creamy associations from their tag.