What's Rising

44 amusing/excruciating moments from the first fortnight of Love Island

MOST ‘LOVE ISLAND’ CONVERSATION

‘He’s not my type but he is my type, do you know what I mean?’

‘No’

– Yewande stumps Amber

LEAST ‘LOVE ISLAND’ OUTFIT

‘What am I wearing to bed? Not sexy, no. Never’

– Amber is shocked by the very idea

BEST ‘LOVE ISLAND’ SEDUCTION STRATEGY

‘I need to give him some sex eyes’

– Maura

LEAST ‘LOVE ISLAND’ SEDUCTION RESPONSE

‘I’ve been drinking Coke’

– Amber’s reason for not kissing Michael (even though she wanted to)

BIGGEST PHYSICAL REACTION

‘I’m having f***y flutters. I’m not even joking’

– Maura

BIGGEST PHYSICAL REACTION (runners-up)

‘Tommy’s starting to sweat now which is actually turning me on’

‘The things I would do to that man’

‘Tommy, Tommy, Tommy… I can imagine screaming his name!’

– all Maura (obviously)

MOST EXCITABLE REACTION

‘I fancy everyone. I literally fancy everyone all the time!’

– Molly-Mae

MOST QUINTESSENTIAL GIRLS’ STATEMENT

‘Do I think they’ll be hot? Well, I’ve never seen a hot girl called Maura and I’ve never seen a hot girl called Elma’

– Lucie

MOST QUINTESSENTIAL GIRLS’ STATEMENT (runner-up)

‘No neither have I. When I think of Elma, I remember that elephant’

– Molly-Mae

MOST QUINTESSENTIAL BOYS’ STATEMENT

‘I’ve never put so much effort into cheese in my life!’

– Tommy cutting heart-shaped bits of cheese for his ketchup-mayo toasted sandwich ‘monstrosity’

MOST QUINTESSENTIAL BOYS’ REQUEST

‘Can you do my eyebrows?’

– Tommy to Molly, as he got ready to go on his date with Maura

MOST ORIGINAL PHRASE

‘It was what it was’

– Joe

WORST PHRASE

‘I like the girl’

– various men who clearly don’t that much

BEST JEALOUS PUT-DOWN

‘Why can I hear Tommy laughing like an absolute gimp?!’

– Molly-Mae during his date with Maura

BEST INSULT

‘Tommy is ‘I want to f**k you material’, Danny is ‘baby daddy material’, and Anton is ‘I want to go to a theme park with you’ material!’

– Molly-Mae

BEST COMPLIMENT (female)

‘I really like him! My head is actually falling off!’

– Molly, five minutes after meeting Danny

BEST COMPLIMENT (male)

‘My head has done a 560 degree turn!’

– Tommy, five minutes after meeting Maura

CREEPIEST COMPLIMENT

‘It’s like kissing your brother but in a good way’

– Yewande on Michael

CREEPIEST REASSURANCE

‘You’re far too pretty to cry’

– Joe consoling a sobbing Lucie

CREEPIEST MOTTO

‘It ain’t easy being cheesy’

– Curtis

CREEPIEST PROPOSAL

‘Will you be my half girlfriend?’

– Curtis to Amy, who thought it was ‘a bit weird’

SWEETEST PROPOSAL

‘I had a dream that I was getting married’

– Yewande to Danny

HASTIEST PROPOSAL (positive)

‘I’m good at this! Just call me Molly Fury!’

– Molly-Mae, five minutes after she made Tommy give her a ‘boxing lesson’

HASTIEST PROPOSAL (negative)

‘He’s probably marriage material’

– Elma on Anton

SAUCIEST PROPOSAL

‘What’s your gut telling you? To get frisky under the covers?’

– Maura to Tommy

MOST IMPRESSED COMPLIMENT

‘You’re good at the words aren’t you?’

– Lucie to Tommy

LEAST IMPRESSIVE COMPLIMENT

‘You’re very hairy aren’t you?’

– Tommy looking at Molly-Mae’s arms

BIGGEST HOLE DIGGING (female)

‘I don’t want this to be an issue. We were friends, yes. But we’re not as big as we were… I do feel I’ve been cast aside’

– Amy ‘apologises’ to Lucie (for the third time)

BIGGEST HOLE DIGGING (male)

‘Obviously Molly’s very much my type. That’s my type. But as much as she is my type, Molly’s beautiful from the outside in. You’re beautiful on the inside. Although yes, you’re not necessarily my type on paper’

– Anton ‘flatters’ Anna

MOST DEBATABLE CLAIM (male)

‘In Scotland this works. I feel like it’s a miscommunication between the Scottish and English’

– Anton (on the above)

2nd MOST DEBATABLE CLAIM (male)

‘As you know I’ve kind of kept my options open’

– Anton to Amber, his interpretation of repeatedly getting rejected

MOST DEBATABLE CLAIM (female)

‘It’s my fault I didn’t make it clear how I felt’

– Molly-Mae, although only compared to Maura

2nd MOST DEBATABLE CLAIM (female)

‘Me and Danny can talk about really deep s**t’

– Molly-Mae

MOST PATRONISING FRIEND (male)

‘My dad was born in a country called Guyana’

– Danny to Amber

MOST PATRONISING FRIEND (female)

‘We gave Lucie and Joe the incentive to go exclusive. You know, trendsetters and all that!’

– Amy to Curtis – trying to forgive her friends for stealing their thunder (but failing)

LEAST SURPRISING CONFESSION

‘I couldn’t give a sh*te!’

– Maura on upsetting Molly

DEEPEST THINKER

‘What type do I you normally go for? Tall, teeth, and a tan’

– Molly-Mae

BEST EYAL IMPERSONATION

‘I still really care for her but… There has to be some kind of compromise FROM HER’

– Joe, tries to stop Lucie talking to Tommy

YOUNG PEOPLE TODAY

‘What do you do professionally?’

‘I do social media’

– Molly-Mae to Danny

OLD PEOPLE TODAY

‘I am quite old’ – Amy (aged 26)

‘I love an older guy’ – Amber (21) to Michael (27)

‘I’m 26 but I tell people I’m 23’ – Elma (probably 36)

BEST COOK

‘He’s a good egg and I’m a good egg. I think we’d make a good omelette’

– Elma on Anton

WORST COOK

‘My mum cooks everything. I can’t even crack an egg’

– Tommy

WORST COWARD

‘How was your date? Is she your type?’

‘Um, I mean… How are you feeling?’

– Tommy to Lucie after he’d told Molly-Mae ‘you are 100% my type’ five minutes after their date started

WORST COWARD (runner up)

‘Weren’t you going to come and tell me you were sleeping out here? I feel this big!’

– Molly-Mae to Tommy, who then meekly followed her back to bed 

 

Daily Mail UK

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