Lisa Faulkner has opened up about her her journey towards motherhood and the heartache she felt after failed rounds of IVF.
The former EastEnders star, 47, recalled how she felt when her fertility doctor Mohammed Taranissi told her that her in-vitro fertilisation (IVF) journey was over.
While she is now mother to daughter Belle, 12, through adoption, the road to motherhood wasn’t easy in the beginning.
Interview: Lisa Faulkner, 47, has opened up about her her journey towards motherhood and the heartache she felt after failed rounds of IVF (pictured in May 2019)
Speaking about her fertility doctor, Lisa told The Sun: ‘I remember thinking: “Why are you letting me go?” I didn’t understand. Everyone else had many goes at IVF and I only had three.
‘He said I was mentally and physically done. He said I was on the edge, but I couldn’t see that at the time.’
Lisa added that she found IVF was a ‘lonely’ experience which was why she wrote her book Meant to Be: My Journey to Motherhood.
She said: ‘I finally felt confident enough to write it. Going through IVF was lonely. I wanted the book to hold somebody’s hand through that. There was no book for me.’
Family: While she is now mother to daughter Belle, 12, through adoption, the road to motherhood wasn’t easy in the beginning (pictured in 2011)
The TV star discussed her quest to become a mother at the Ideal Home Show in March.
She said: ‘I’ve got a book which comes out in June and it’s about how I had a right nightmare to have my daughter. I went through surrogates, every single way of having a baby before I adopted.
‘And there were no books, and there were no people… the only two people I knew who had adopted a child were Angelina Jolie and Madonna, which was fine but there was no one who was like a normal person.
‘So I thought I’d like to write a book that holds somebody’s hand even if they end up not adopting, but going through those trials of everyone suddenly having babies and it not being so easy for them.
‘You know what I mean, it’s really difficult and it’s a lonely place and I wanted to write that book to say however you get your path to motherhood, whatever that path is, it’s meant to be. It’s my journey to adoption.’
Honest: Speaking about her fertility doctor, Lisa said: ‘He said I was mentally and physically done. He said I was on the edge, but I couldn’t see that at the time’ (pictured in June 2019)
Speaking about her book, she added: ‘There’s a lot of grief in it, there’s a lot of sadness, but there’s a lot of funny moments. I think you go on a journey when you try to have children.
‘Somebody told me that you go and see this man and this will work, so you try everything.
‘You go and see someone else and you try absolutely everything and nothing’s working and all these well-meaning people are going “when you forget about it, when you just relax” – still, STILL, people say it today.
‘I think, oh we’ve got a few more years until people won’t be saying it anymore. In the end, I got my girl and somebody said to me “a snowflake always lands in the right place” and I think that’s true – you always get what you’re meant to.’
Lisa said: ‘I finally felt confident enough to write it. Going through IVF was lonely’ (pictured in July 2019)
Gushing about her daughter, Lisa said that she ‘couldn’t have made one any better’ and she’s ‘an amazing little girl’.
Lisa added: ‘I try and remember that, when I was writing the book and saying all these wonderful things and she’s stomping in from school – hormones and all that.
‘I say to her “You’ve got thirty minutes on your phone” and her saying “I hate you”, being so lovely – and here I am writing this book about my wonderful [sarcastic tone] daughter.
‘All of that, I wouldn’t change any of it – all of the ups and downs, I say to her all the time “I don’t care, you can do anything and I’ll still love you” – “really?” – “yes, and I’m never going anywhere” and she’s amazing.’
Happy: Gushing about her daughter, Lisa said that she ‘couldn’t have made one any better’ and she’s ‘an amazing little girl’ (pictured in 2015)